Updates… nothing interesting

Well, things are getting on track better than ever! This past weekend I had a big yard sale, and everything that I didn’t sell went straight to goodwill, so my garage is rid of the massive amounts of crap that was hanging out in there! There is still a lot of organizing and going through things that I still need to do. I couldn’t really go through anything because everything was so cluttered in there! So, now that it is less cluttered, I’m going to go through it all, and organize, and get rid of more things that I don’t need. I’m trying to simply my life, and stop carrying around all of this clutter! I’d like to move one day soon, and if I do, I don’t want to have to worry about having junk around that I don’t need, and that I don’t want to store. I just want to be able to pick up and go and be free! I’m on track with making that happen, and I’m very excited about it!

I have some really great friends in my life! Friends that invited me to tag along and go to Napa with them! I’m taking a pretty much free trip, and I couldn’t be MORE excited about it! it’s going to be 5 days, of pure fun, relaxing, time to myself, time to read and think and journal and pray and reflect. It will be time to talk to people who are older, who care about me, who have been “there”, who have great insight on life, love, and all of the above. A time to try new things, drink a little, laugh a lot, and maybe even cry for a while. I’m looking forward to this time!

Things with the Guitar Hero are progressing nicely! We’ve been scheduling dates and hanging out as often as we can. We each have children and work full time, and other things that we enjoy doing, so we have pretty busy lives that don’t revolve around each other (yet). We have each made time to spend with each other, separately from our children and when the time is right they will be introduced into our relationship. I love the Guitar Hero. I LOVE him! He seems to have it all together, a good stable life, he is dependable, reliable, consistent, considerate. He is passionate, and loving, and genuine, and thoughtful. He listens to what I say, and pays attention. He observes, makes notes, and sends tulips instead of roses! He writes me songs I’ve yet to hear, he e-mails me songs that remind me of him. He is fantastic, and I’m enjoying being selfish and keeping him all to myself, and letting him love me and enjoying this love. He says the most wonderful things to me, things I’ve always wanted to hear, but not typical BS boy lines, real things that I’ve always wanted someone to say to me. Every relationship has been unlike any other, each having good and bad points, but this relationship is nothing but good, and of course, unlike any other, at the risk of sounding cliché.

I want things with him to be different. I haven’t given everything up for him to spend all of my time with him. I’ve been doing the things I still love to do. I’ve still be spending good quality time with my little one. I’m still taking the classes I wanted to take, I’m still working to make my life better, I’m still fitting in vacations with friends, and business trips to Chicago. I’m doing everything that I need to do for myself to make myself happy. I can not, and will not rely on him to make me happy. If I have learned anything this year, it’s that I have to find my own happiness. I’m glad he is there to support me, and experience this new chapter in my life with me. I want this chapter to be different. I want it to be all about me, and what I did for myself, and my family, and my life. I want it to be about how I loved him, and not waited around for him to love me. I want this chapter of my life to show my daughter that her mom worked hard, played hard, loved hard and enjoyed it all. I want her life to be different than mine. I want her to grow up feeling confident in herself and for her to know that she can do anything. I can do anything, but I have this constant feeling hanging over me that says “one day, they will catch on, and they will know, you can not do anything” Even though I can do anything, and some of my best friends have recently verbally spanked me for thinking otherwise. I want this chapter in my life to say, “I am Heather, and I set out to wake up every morning in pure happiness doing what I loved, and this is how I got here, and I wouldn’t have done it any other way. Who I am today, is because of what I was yesterday. I want to be proud of myself, I want to be confident in the things that I do, and know that I am worth it. That’s what this chapter is about in my life. ME ME ME. That’s why I say I want things with The Guitar Hero to be different. I don’t want my life to be all about him. I want my life to include him as another factor in all the parts that make up me. I’m so excited for this new outlook.