Did you know that the ears and eyes are 2 parts of our bodies that self heal themselves? Not sure why, but they are! It seems like The Guitar Hero and I are pretty good at self healing too! Lately we have been going through some issues that have been bothering him. What bothers him bothers me, so we’ve been doing lots of talking, and communicating and listening, and thinking and re-talking, and e-mailing, and thinking, and responding and coming to conclusions that are helping us to resolve all of these issues. It’s actually pretty fascinating to think about where we started, and where we’ve ended with all of this. One of the most beautiful parts of all of this is how each conversations leads us to a stronger bond, which leads us to better understanding of each other. Today we were continuing the discussion and he was talking, trying to explain something to me, and I threw out a term that make him have an “ah ha” moment, and then he was better able to explain what he meant to me. It’s so nice to have trust in someone, and know that they love you, and be able to say what you feel without feeling like it could ruin everything. I think we both feel that way. We go into a conversation knowing and explaining that what we have to say isn’t pretty, but it also doesn’t change the way we feel, but it needs to be said, and dealt with so we can move forward. This is one of the many things that I love about The Guitar Hero! Everything is so easy and just clicks into place with him! It’s so easy to talk to him, to explain things to him, to have conversations with him. Good, bad, and ugly conversations. He never judges me on the deepest darkest feelings that I have. It’s so nice, it’s so freeing! I didn’t think that existed!
This past weekend I was probably the most vulnerable that I’ve been around him. I was going through some things, and I needed him to be there with me. I’ll be honest and say that he wasn’t so happy with me, he was having doubts and feelings and wasn’t necessarily mad at me, but mad at a certain situation. He knew that I needed him, and he swallowed those angry feelings, and he came and he was there for me. He took 100% care of everything I needed, he was loving, and caring, and held my hand when I needed him to, and wiped my tears when I needed him to, he made me breakfast, lunch and dinner, and got me everything I wanted, when I wanted. Later, he told me that he was really upset with the prior situation, and was taking it out on me even though I had no idea. In my heart, I’m looking at this in two ways. First I thought, well, he must really care about me if he was able to swallow those feelings and just be there in the way that I needed him to be. Second I thought, if he wasn’t giving me his all 100% loving attention, and I only got the 80% he told me he gave, then, I’m kinda bummed I missed out on that extra 20%. Overall though I see that he will be there for me, when I need him, no matter what, because he loves me, and he cares about me, and he knows that I need him. I thought that was kinda great!
Little by little we are learning about each other, we are finding that we love each other more than we’ve ever experienced, and because of that, all of the little bumps you find along the way, are surfacing much quicker. I think it’s good because we can deal with it all now, and move on, and enjoy this journey even more. After everything that happened this weekend, and all of the discussions we’ve had over the past few days I feel even stronger love for him. I feel a stronger bond for him; I feel more of everything for him. I enjoy the bumps in the road because they are exciting, they are learning experiences, they are growing pains, and lessons to live by. Without the bumps it would be very boring! Sometimes you can wrap a horrible situation up in a pretty package and put a pretty bow around it and it looks nice from the outside, but inside there is turmoil and angst and all bad things. I don’t want any pretty bows or packages, I just want real, raw emotion that grows, changes and evolves and makes us better!
This past weekend I was probably the most vulnerable that I’ve been around him. I was going through some things, and I needed him to be there with me. I’ll be honest and say that he wasn’t so happy with me, he was having doubts and feelings and wasn’t necessarily mad at me, but mad at a certain situation. He knew that I needed him, and he swallowed those angry feelings, and he came and he was there for me. He took 100% care of everything I needed, he was loving, and caring, and held my hand when I needed him to, and wiped my tears when I needed him to, he made me breakfast, lunch and dinner, and got me everything I wanted, when I wanted. Later, he told me that he was really upset with the prior situation, and was taking it out on me even though I had no idea. In my heart, I’m looking at this in two ways. First I thought, well, he must really care about me if he was able to swallow those feelings and just be there in the way that I needed him to be. Second I thought, if he wasn’t giving me his all 100% loving attention, and I only got the 80% he told me he gave, then, I’m kinda bummed I missed out on that extra 20%. Overall though I see that he will be there for me, when I need him, no matter what, because he loves me, and he cares about me, and he knows that I need him. I thought that was kinda great!
Little by little we are learning about each other, we are finding that we love each other more than we’ve ever experienced, and because of that, all of the little bumps you find along the way, are surfacing much quicker. I think it’s good because we can deal with it all now, and move on, and enjoy this journey even more. After everything that happened this weekend, and all of the discussions we’ve had over the past few days I feel even stronger love for him. I feel a stronger bond for him; I feel more of everything for him. I enjoy the bumps in the road because they are exciting, they are learning experiences, they are growing pains, and lessons to live by. Without the bumps it would be very boring! Sometimes you can wrap a horrible situation up in a pretty package and put a pretty bow around it and it looks nice from the outside, but inside there is turmoil and angst and all bad things. I don’t want any pretty bows or packages, I just want real, raw emotion that grows, changes and evolves and makes us better!
So good that you are enjoying this time in the beginning, when you are learning and listening and talking. It's one of the best times of a relationship :)
ReplyDelete