Finding the happy...

Well, it’s been a few days! Man I’ve been busy!!! This week I was in sales meetings all week and business dinners every night. It was really great! I learned a LOT, and have already been applying everything I learned! I made a new buddy in the UK! He is SUPER awesome!!! We hit it off great and will be friends forever! Too bad he lives in London! But, the good news is, since we work for the same company, I’ll get to see him at least 4 times a year at our sales meetings! I’ve never laughed as much as I did this past week, which was just what the doctor ordered!!!

So, lately, I’ve been craving hugs, and to be touched. It’s been a month and a half since the last time I’ve really had someone in my arms. Currently, I’m taking offers for cuddle buddies. HA! I really just want a boy in my bed so I can touch him. I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed having someone there to touch. I want to call someone up and ask them to come over and just lay with me. Is that weird? I just want to lay with someone. The problem with that is that the other person always wants more… and that’s the last thing on my mind. I wish I just had a friend who really understood that I miss being held, and could come hold me for a while, and maybe sleep there with me. It’s hard to go to bed every night alone, especially when it wasn’t your choice to have it taken away. Even thought I had a great week, every night I came home, to a dark lonely house. I think it’s good that I can have this time to be alone, and think and read and pray and meditate and listen to the silence, but when I crawl in bed, I want him there. I want him back so badly. I want to lay on his chest while he plays with my hair. I want to enjoy forehead kisses, and nose cuddling. I want it back! It’s just so not fair that he’s gone.

I’ve been living in the moment more and more each day. I have to say that it’s a much better way to live! Most of the time I don’t even know what day or date it is. This is not how I’ve ever been before. Every day I wake up (drag myself out of bed!) and do whatever daily task is at hand! This weekend I’m organizing my garage and getting ready for my huge garage sale! I’m trying to simplify, and clear the clutter, and I know I’ll be much happier once I don’t have so many belongings to keep track of.

I decided I wanted to start playing guitar. I borrowed my little brother’s guitar and I’ve been practicing a little on it. I’m not sure if I’m doing any good or not, but it’s fun, it gives me something to do. I have a friend to plays guitar and said that they would show me some stuff, so that’s pretty cool. Tonight I’m going to a Food Truck Meet Up. Where a bunch of local food trucks meet at one location and it’s like a food truck convention. It’s pretty cool! So, even though I have my sad moments, I try to find the happy ones in the things I’m doing. As you all know, life does go on, so I’m choosing to make the best of it!